Redditors are discussing how much things have changed over the past 20 years in terms of norms around rudeness and disrespect. Customs governing rudeness, especially the more arbitrary ones, have always shifted with each new generation, but new technology seems to be accelerating these changes.
Featured VideoAlso, we now have a site called Reddit where we can talk about it.
“What’s something that was considered rude 20 years ago but is normal now?” asked u/jakubbog.
AdvertisementIndeed, many of the answers Redditors came up with involve the new technology that arose within the last two decades. Smart phones and the internet becoming mandatory in people’s lives changed a lot, including what people consider normal in terms of human interaction.
A lot of folks brought up how easy it is to disappear from each other’s presence or lives now that we do so much more interacting via text and chat. Today, we often end our conversations without saying goodbye, and ghosting is so prevalent that we hardly complain about it anymore.
Some of these changes, however, seem like positive ones. There really was no good reason to bar people with visible tattoos from employment, and maybe it’s better than we talk about things like politics and money more now. It might be uncomfortable for some, but discussing salaries helps to close income gaps between demographic groups.
Also, with things as bad as they are now, can we please let ourselves go out in pajamas? Talk about comfort.
AdvertisementWhether you approve of these changing norms or not, it’s always fascinating to compare the present day to the past. Just don’t let these 18 examples give you too much time whiplash.
1. Disappearing from the chat
“Not writing ‘brb’ when stepping away from the computer while chatting online or ending the convo without saying bye.” —u/Bento_Fox
2. Recording strangers without consent
“To some people it’s now normal to film or take pics of strangers, then spread them around like it’s nothing.”
Advertisement“Rescue services have literally done campaigns telling people not to film or photograph accident scenes. The fact some people need to be reminded about how it would suck to have your, or a loved one’s, emergency spread uncontrollably as entertainment, is a chilling thought.” —u/Masseyrati80
3. Screening your calls
“Not answering the phone every single time someone calls. I think I probably pick up 10% of the phone calls I receive.”
“I have an outgoing message letting people know that I don’t answer unsolicited calls from numbers I don’t recognize, so they need to leave a message and I’ll get back to them.” —u/UnicornVoodooDoll
Advertisement4. Discussing money
“Talking openly about money like salaries, rent, or even how much you spent on something used to be considered really impolite or “taboo” in casual conversation, but now it’s becoming normal and even encouraged as people push for transparency, fair pay, and breaking down financial stigma.” —u/Budget-Till5824
5. Visible tattoos and alternative piercings at work
“I did sh*twork at an accounting firm for several years and saw that one change in real time. They had a no visible tattoos rule and got rid of it once they realized it was a losing battle and they couldn’t afford to shut out a significant segment of the younger generation.” —u/GreenZebra23
Advertisement6. Dogs in stores
“Bringing pet dogs into restaurants and grocery stores. Watched someone’s toy something take a dump in the pharmacy aisle at Costco right after an employee finished mopping. Why is this just accepted?” —u/Trickycoolj
7. Ignoring the doorbell
“Not answering the door. I legit freeze, stay quiet, and check my porch camera before even thinking about answering the door these days, if I am not expecting someone. And I only started doing that because I have elderly neighbors who occasionally drop by, both for emergencies, and to give us food.” —u/AtheneSchmidt
Advertisement8. Talking politics
“We were taught that it was rude to speak about religion and politics, but what we should have been teaching is how to speak about religion or politics without being rude.” —u/bmadarie
9. Ghosting and flaking
“People, for the most part didn’t ever do either of those things unless it was a super good reason. Like with flaking out, it wasn’t even considered flaking out. People would pretty much only cancel plans at the last minute if they had some kind of emergency or something unexpected came up.”
Advertisement“And ghosting afaik people only did that sort of thing if someone was being a creep or there was a big argument or whatever.” —u/idratherchangemyold1
10. Dumping someone over the phone
“Breaking up with someone via text. It’s still rude af for a more serious relationship if you ask me. But it is unfortunately very normalized.” —u/girlnextdoor480
11. Checking your phone during conversation
“Two decades ago, pulling out your phone and looking at it while talking to someone was seen as a sign that you were bored or that the other person was unimportant. Now, it’s so normal that most people don’t even bat an eye.” —u/Jasmine_kaity
Advertisement12. Joking instead of never forgetting
“9/11 jokes were rude at that time. It was too soon. Now, there are adults who were born after 9/11. They don’t care so much.” —u/Overwatcher_Leo
13. Free-range kiddos
“The kids running wild in public places like restaurants and stores is so much more prevalent. I was a fairly permissive mom, except when it came to social graces and manners. Kids can be kids but not when they’re infringing on other people’s space in public places.”
Advertisement“Ime, rude kids grow up to be rude adults, and this was not tolerated 40 years ago.” —u/halfpint51
14. Treating workers poorly
“Being rude to service workers, I swear I see it everywhere I go now. Especially in a post-covid world where everyone seems to have lost their manners.” —u/Lovely_Quartz
15. Using distractions at dinner
“Reading the newspaper or watching TV during mealtime. Now everyone even my gran (who is an old school etiquette lady) uses their phone while watching tv during meal gathering time!” —u/ViewsByPlacer
Advertisement16. Wearing jammies outside
“When did it become acceptable to wear pajamas everywhere?”
“As a child, while my grandmother didn’t approve, you could wear jeans and a tee shirt most places. I absolutely wasn’t allowed to wear jeans to church, not even for the social get togethers. People used to throw on a tee shirt & shorts when coming off the beach or out of a pool.”
17. Swears
“Cursing in public. It has always been there, but it’s way more prevalent now. I know a handful of parents that don’t care how dirty their kids mouths are.” —u/sonofamusket
Advertisement18. Being on the phone in the bathroom
“Using your cell phone in public bathrooms. I find it incredibly intrusive. I started noticing people doing it around 2015. I just want to pee in peace. Plus, who wants to be on the phone with someone and hear toilets flushing?” —u/vaguelybombastic
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