“Already helped my marriage in 1 minute of watching”: Millennial man’s self-own about how he treated his wife resonates with millions

Josh Fisher (@jfisher62) didn’t expect to go viral for reflecting on his past mistakes as a husband, but his blunt self-awareness resonated. In a TikTok video that’s been viewed over 10.8 million times, Fisher recounted a moment early in his marriage when he realized just how little he contributed to the mental and emotional labor of his household.

“I just packed my bag”: one husband’s wake-up call

Fisher described how he and his wife Jaime prepared to leave for a trip. While Jaime planned the trip, cleaned the house, packed for herself as well as the entire family, and tended to numerous unspecified responsibilities—Fisher simply put his things in a bag.

“This is quite literally the most self-aware I’ve ever seen a man wearing UnderArmour be.”

Fisher admitted he habitually centered himself in every situation, leaving his wife to handle domestic labor.

“I thought that my role was to do all these things outside of the home and that the home was a woman’s domain,” he said. “I saw that modeled, and even taught, as the way it should be… that’s not partnership.” He recalled how his own father prioritized personal needs over domestic initiatives. Fisher asserted the behavior has “never been okay” and needs to be unlearned.

“Much of this work has meant that I had to reevaluate my own socialization and beliefs as a man, which starts with truly listening to women’s experiences from a position of curiosity and care,” Fisher said.

@jfisher62 What NOT to do as a husband #fyp #husbandsoftiktok #wivesoftiktok #fairplay #parenting #feminism #dismantlethepatriarchy #relationship #marriage #support #partnering ♬ original sound – J Fisher

Women commenting on the video know exactly what he’s talking about, and have referred to the post as a PSA. Fisher told Newsweek that men reach out to him with questions and seek advice.

“And my husband would brag about how quickly he could get ready for a trip. He literally only packed his stuff!”

“Honestly how is it that all of us guys are the same person? I neglected my wife’s emotional needs for years now it’s broken.”

“I wish my husband could see this without me sending it to him.😂”

“And this is part of the reason I’m divorced 🥺.”

Fisher followed up with two more videos in the series he calls “Chronicles of a Clueless Husband”

The TikTok creator uses his platform to share his experience from twenty years of marriage to his wife Jaime, with whom he raises four children. The couple aims to inspire other men to make changes in service of more equitable partnerships.

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