Biggest Revelations From ‘Mr. Scorsese’

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The Onion Staff Oct 23, 2025 · 1 min read
Biggest Revelations From ‘Mr. Scorsese’
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A new five-part docuseries on Apple TV examines the life and career of iconic filmmaker Martin Scorsese. Here are the biggest and most shocking revelations from Mr. Scorsese :

Was often bedridden as a child due to a debilitating spaghetti allergy

Prefers the more casual “Marty” on set and fires anyone who disobeys

Doesn’t know how to log into Apple TV

Came up with the idea for gangsters while eating at an Italian restaurant in 1958

Has seen as many as 12 movies in his lifetime

Initially thought a Hawaiian shirt would be enough to de-age Robert De Niro in The Irishman

Eyebrows insured for $5 million

Old enough to call movies “the pictures” sometimes

Has 200 hit points

Still doesn’t know whether people on screen real or fake but is content not knowing