In compliance with the Epstein Files Transparency Act, the Justice Department has released more than 3 million documents related to the late child sex offender’s prosecution. The Onion shares the biggest revelations.
Jeffrey Epstein signed all his emails “The Infamous Pedophile Jeff”
Digital cameras always have that nostalgic feel
Little Saint James gets kind of chilly at night
All-inclusive didn’t include drinks, which is crazy
Brett Ratner and Bill Clinton do an incredible karaoke duet of “Achy Breaky Heart”
It takes at least 1,700 mentions to get fired from CBS News
Epstein’s grandiose ambitions included opening a coffee shop and getting really good at playing guitar
The waterslide was always “out of order”
Pedophilia is mostly logistics
Donald Trump is fully exonerated over 5,300 times
AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion