Cold plunges, also known as ice baths, are an increasingly popular wellness trend. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding cold plunges.
MYTH: Cold plunges are only for celebrities and athletes.
FACT: They’re also for people easily influenced by them.
MYTH: People with heart conditions should avoid cold plunges.
FACT: People who hate cold water should avoid cold plunges.
MYTH: Cold plunges can help your muscles recover.
FACT: The only thing that can make your body feel better is becoming 23 years old again.
MYTH: It’s dangerous to plunge in the ocean during winter.
FACT: ’Twould be far more perilous not to swiftly heed Poseidon’s call.
MYTH: Cold plunges detoxify your system.
FACT: That Texas Double Whopper is part of you forever.
MYTH: Your cousin Barry did a naked cold plunge when we went ice fishing.
FACT: He’s a nut, that one.
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