Flour Sack Still Dealing With Trauma Of Being Raised By Single Teenage Mother

CLEVELAND—Revealing a vulnerable side while sharing the traumatic experience with a therapist, a 5-pound sack of flour confirmed Thursday that it was still processing the lasting emotional fallout of being raised by a single, teenage mother. “My mother did her best, but let’s be honest: She was a 13-year-old juggling pre-algebra, a clarinet recital, field hockey, and a chaotic personal life, and she had no business being a mom,” said the sack of King Arthur unbleached bread flour, pointing out scars it still bore from being routinely dropped by a careless mother. “A lot of my early days were spent just lying around my grandparents’ place waiting for my mom to come home from her extracurriculars. There was no stability. One day, I’m at school with her; the next, I’m forgotten for an entire weekend in her friend’s basement. And my dad? He was totally absent. He bailed, leaving all the work to a young girl completely ill-equipped to handle the responsibility of a flour sack with all the drama going on in her friend group. It took years to build up a sense of self-worth after my mother lost interest in me after just a week.” The flour added that it did manage to take solace in turning its numerous hardships into sweet, tender biscuits.