In an inspiring display of intuitive eating, Jo Faulkner just chose chips as a snack over gummy worms because they “seemed more of the earth.”
Okay, nutritionist!
“Chips are just potatoes and potatoes come from the ground,” Jo explained, entirely unnecessarily, to reporters. “That makes sense to me. Gummy worms though? Something about those doesn’t sit right with me…What are they even made of? Horse hooves? Not sure but I feel like horse hooves are an ingredient. Either way, they feel way more alien to me than potato chips, and thus less nourishing for my body.”
“I mean, sure, would choosing something like a ‘fruit’ or a ‘vegetable’ be actually, definitively more nutritious for my body?” Jo continued. “Of course! But I’m not really at that point in my life yet, so Salt ‘n’ Vinegar chips are the next best thing.”
If you say so, girl!
When asked about her approach to personal nutrition, Jo said she really tries to listen to her body.
“When I see a chip, my body is like, ‘Okay, yum, a chip,’” she said. “But when I see a gummy worm, my body is still like, ‘Okay, yum’ but it’s also like, ‘OMG is that a snake?’”
When it seemed like reporters still weren’t getting it, she explained further.
“Chips evoke feelings of dirt and fields and the Midwest,” she said. “Gummy worms evoke feelings of worms and squishiness. Not to mention, chips crunch and gummies squish, which pretty much speaks for itself.”
Makes sense!
As of press time, Jo had gone so far as to describe chips as “fuel” and compare gummy worms to “the Chernobyl Elephant’s Foot,” while still making it clear that she does still eat them on a regular basis. She then opted to buy a regular Mountain Dew from the convenience store over a Mountain Dew Voltage, saying, “I don’t know, the green seems more natural than the blue. I’ve never seen that color blue occur in nature.”
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