“I am seeking compensation”: 34-year-old says her ex owes her for “stealing” her childbearing years after 10-year relationship ends

After a decade-long relationship ended, a 34-year-old woman wrote to The Telegraph’s advice column claiming her ex-boyfriend “stole” her childbearing years.

“He owes me big time”: breakup letter goes viral for unusual compensation request

The anonymous 34-year-old woman wrote that her ex, 38, decided that he wasn’t ready to prioritize marriage and children. Unlike women, men have a much wider fertility window, so the rush to start having kids isn’t as pressing.

Breakups are heartbreaking and disappointing to anyone. But the woman took her grief a step further, hoping to get financial compensation from her ex.

“Here I am at 34, eggs twitching, ready for the marriage and parenthood stage of life, but unexpectedly single and emotionally devastated. I am tipping into the furious phase of the grief cycle because I feel as though he owes me big time and I want him to pay,” she wrote to The Telegraph.

She noted that she made career and financial sacrifices, thinking that he would be the primary earner when they started their family.

The Telegraph’s columnist suggested that she lacks legal standing to pursue her ex for the breakup. The response also points out that solutions like IVF may help her become a parent without waiting for the right guy.

What do readers think of the situation?

In a post reacting to the column on the subreddit r/AskWomenOver30, users responded to the woman’s desire to sue her ex for stealing her childbearing years.

“I mean it sucks what happened to her but this is just… life? Sometimes you’re just very unlucky. But she also stayed for over 8 years in this relationship so she needs to take some accountability here. Legally, she’s not owed anything and won’t get anything from him,” a commenter suggested.

“People are being harsh here. Some men will lead women on and promise them things. All while the woman sacrifices for his career wishes and all that. I understand the woman being upset. If it is a common law relationship, she can see a lawyer about division of assets,” another countered.

Some suggested that women should wait to make financial compromises until after they’ve tied the knot.

“This is exactly why you shouldn’t move, sacrifice your career, and build a life with a man you’re not married to. He can still leave, but at least then she would have been legally protected and would have been entitled to some money,” a commenter suggested.

“If marriage and children were a priority for this woman, then why did she stay with someone who wouldn’t commit to either for 10 years? He didn’t steal anything from her. She settled for a relationship that wasn’t what she wanted and has misplaced the blame on him,” a second poster wrote.