Inside Of Light Fixture Everything Moth Dreamed And More

MEREDITH, NH—Saying the luminous paradise had exceeded even its wildest expectations, a local moth told reporters Tuesday the inside of a light fixture was everything it had ever dreamed of and more. “Woo-hoo! They’ve got a whole second light bulb in here—this is the greatest fucking day of my life!” the moth said as it giddily careened through the enclosure, ping-ponging between each of the fixture’s 60-watt bulbs in transcendent ecstacy. “And I thought this place looked good from the outside! You spend your whole life fantasizing about the inside of one of these things, but nothing can prepare you for the reality. I’ve got these beautiful glowing orbs all to myself, and if my wings get tired, I can just sprawl out on this nice, comfy glass here and still have a front-row seat. I feel like I should tell my buddies about it, but they’d never believe a place this bright and cozy could really exist. I can’t even find the exit anymore, but who cares? I’ve got all the sweet, sweet light I’ve ever wanted right here in front of me!” At press time, sources confirmed the winged insect had suddenly noticed the desiccated corpse of another moth, heard the sound of a switch flipping, and been plunged into total darkness.