Jeff Bezos, Amazon founder and the world’s second richest man, wed his fiancé Lauren Sanchez in a lavish, multi-day ceremony this week in Venice, Italy. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event.
4,976:
Number of Amazon fulfillment center workers who fainted on the job to make this possible
25:
Yacht pileup in the Grand Canal
120:
Gladiatorial combatants fighting to death in reception pit
2,500 ml:
Amount of lip filler present
AFU826:
Serial number of warehouse container holding Sanchez’s ex-husband
0:
Childhood friends
2.5:
Kardashians expected to attend
357:
Hours you’d have to work to afford a single centerpiece
45:
Seconds Oprah Winfrey is willing to spend chatting with Katy Perry
10 p.m.:
Time DJ a hard out unless he paid double-rate in cash for extra hour
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