In an inspiring story emerging from Austin, TX, 23-year-old Olivia Green is currently doomscrolling, has been informed she’s doomscrolling, but simply does not care. She just doesn’t have anything more interesting to do right now.
The incident began in a coffee shop when Olivia’s close friend, 24-year-old Maya Shahadi, noticed that Olivia was staring blankly at her phone and scrolling over a period of 45 minutes.
“Hey, girl,” Maya said, lowering the phone. “I think you’re doomscrolling. You’ve got that empty look in your eye and your thumb is still moving even though I already took the phone away.”
Sources confirm Olivia’s thumb continued to “scroll” throughout the conversation.
“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Olivia responded, laughing. “It’s no worries, though. I’m definitely doomscrolling. There’s just nothing else I can think of doing at this moment, so I’m letting my dopamine centers take over.”
Olivia maintains she has finished her job work, sent some personal emails, and is now faced with an awkward amount of time before her 5pm doctor’s appointment.
“There’s nothing to do at a time like this but doomscroll,” Olivia told reporters gathered at the scene. “Like, should I start working on an art piece? Do some reading? Be realistic.”
Reporters noted that those both sounded like great options, but Olivia just shook her head and chuckled knowingly.
“I couldn’t possibly do anything like that,” she continued. “Sure, I’ve had a book in my tote bag for about six months and am still on page 80, but I’d need a better chunk of time – say, an hour – to do that. I simply must doomscroll.”
Olivia appears to have a 10-minute cycle of swiping from X to Instagram to TikTok to Reddit then back to X to rinse and repeat.
“By the time I get to the last apps in the order, something new has definitely come up in the first ones,” she continued, as if this were a masterful plan.
Reporters also suggested Olivia could sign up for an online course in her free time, find a local organization to volunteer with, or even just get a jump on cooking dinner, but none of these options seemed appealing.
“Nah, I’d prefer to let my eyes cross and my brain go smooth, but thanks for the input!” she replied, returning to her scrolling.
As of press time, Olivia was heading to bed and bemoaning that she “felt really bad” but could not put her finger on why.
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