Tensions between the United States and Venezuela are escalating, with President Trump stating that land strikes on drug traffickers could come “very soon.” The Onion examines the pros and cons of entering a war against Venezuela.
PRO
“Caracas” fun to say
Raises total number of countries Americans can name to respectable nine
Would be nice to invade somewhere warm for the holidays
Something to tide us over until war with China
CON
Kind of an inconvenient time
May have to come up with a reason for doing so
Don’t know how to roll our R’s
Kathryn Bigelow already won two Oscars
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