“Rejection is protection”: Shocked woman says man canceled date an hour before it began because she doesn’t drink alcohol

TikTok commenters are rallying around a woman who was shocked after her date canceled on her when he learned she doesn’t drink alcohol.

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“The guy I was supposed to be on a date with right now decided to cancel our date less than an hour before it started,” Steph (@stephfromjersey) told 13,000 viewers. 

She said the two of them had been had been texting ahead of their planned meet up to get hyped for the date. When he asked her whether she was “more of a cocktail girl or a beer girl,” she decided to lay down the truth—she actually can’t drink alcohol because of a medical condition.

“But I don’t care if you drink, and I always find something!” she told him, as per the screenshots of their conversation she shared later in the video.

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@stephfromjersey Are we having fun yet? #dating #nycdating #hinge #greenscreen ♬ original sound – Steph Taylor

But apparently that didn’t sit well with her date, who replied, “Oh…yeah, idk if that’s gonna work for me, we should cancel now.”

Dating culture & last minute cancelations

Dating apps theoretically opened up a whole new world of opportunities to meet people, but they’ve also meant folks have a lot less skin in the game. It’s easy to be overly picky when you can just swipe, swipe, swipe, and it’s also easy to just totally flake out.

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One woman went viral on TikTok recently for contemplating canceling her date after searching his name online and worrying he might have lied about his age by a two-year margin.

Although people pointed out there could be logical explanations for the discrepancy, it highlighted how easy it is to scratch an app match off the list of potential suitors without getting to know them.

And while that’s certainly everyone’s prerogative, it does make dating in the app era difficult, time-consuming, and frustrating. And that’s actually leading to people setting even more criteria to try to weed out people they think would waste their time, even when, sometimes, that just means they end up wasting others’.

Viewers see both perspectives of the debate

In this particular situation, some viewers suggested that having her date canceled over not drinking alcohol was actually just Steph dodging a bullet.

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“Translation: ‘you mean I can’t get you drunk? I’m out,’” wrote @jordyn_dae.

“He had something for your drink, I’m sure,” @the_bougie_boho warned.

“As a sober person, before I was sober… I would have not been stoked to date a mocktail person because they would see who/what I was,” @tresiamelynn admitted. “Now when I’m cancelled on, that tells me Everything I need to know about them.”

“Rejection is protection,” comments another.

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Some point out that we don’t know the whole story

Others disagreed, pointing out that it simply might be an issue of compatibility, rather than something sinister or masking alcoholism.

“My boyfriend and I are getting wine tomorrow and going to sit in the jacuzzi and drink it,” one person commented. “Sure, I could do that with someone who doesn’t drink. But I’d prefer to do it with someone who does. It’s not like they have some sort of foundation. They just met on an app. It’s easy to pass on a person and pick on one who more closely aligns to you.”

“I guess I see it both ways,” @katren922 said. “My husband and I LOVE wine tastings and things like that. Mutual enjoyment. I can see how a partner that doesn’t drink could complicate things.”

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Another person who compared it to being “super outdoorsy” and wanting to share that with your partner added, “If you take away the alcohol judgment, it’s just simple compatibility…”

Regardless, one thing a lot of people seemed to agree on was that canceling at the last minute—and subsequently leaving Steph on read when she responded—was not the most mature way to handle things.

“Dating’s going great,” she joked. “Really love it here.”

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