Rifle-Wielding Chair Umpire Asks Crowd If Making Noise During Australian Open Truly Worth Dying For

https://theonion.com/rifle-wielding-chair-umpire-asks-crowd-if-making-noise-during-australian-open-truly-worth-dying-for/

The Onion Staff Jan 31, 2026 · 1 min read
Rifle-Wielding Chair Umpire Asks Crowd If Making Noise During Australian Open Truly Worth Dying For
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Aquarius

Finding solace in your friends will be key this week, so join a softball league or something to finally make a few.