Satellite Images Reveal Drunk Father Stockpiling Fireworks

https://theonion.com/satellite-images-reveal-drunk-father-stockpiling-fireworks/

The Onion Staff Jul 02, 2025 · 1 min read
Satellite Images Reveal Drunk Father Stockpiling Fireworks
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Cancer

While they can’t guarantee things will turn around for you, the stars do offer galaxy credit on any horoscopes returned within 30 days.