After decades in the House of Representatives, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has announced she will not seek reelection next year. The Onion looks back at the former House speaker’s life and career.
1940
Born in Baltimore with mark of the gavel on her forearm.
1961
Poses for photo with President John F. Kennedy at inaugural ball after begging dad to spring for VIP meet-and-greet passes.
1994–1997
The Lost Years.
1999
First and last time an intern gets her lunch order wrong.
2007
Remains seated during State of Union speech while George W. Bush nearly chokes to death on pretzel.
2010
Rallies House Democrats to pass legislation that controversially benefits Americans.
2019
Purposefully gives Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wrong directions to congressional hearing room.
Jan. 5, 2021
Goes to work in a shit-free office.
2023
BLM tattoo removed.
2027
Suddenly bad at stock trading.
Sloan Wyckoff and Rowan Bishop