Universe Practically Stumbling Over Itself To Reward Man’s Decision To Stop Making Art

SAN ANTONIO—Remarking upon the charmed existence he had led since changing his course in life, former illustrator Allan Mansour confirmed Friday that the universe had practically been stumbling over itself to reward him for his decision to stop making art. “Gosh, my bank account is full, my personal life is flourishing, I have the respect of my friends back—and all it took was giving up the one creative pursuit I thought gave my life purpose,” said Mansour, a broad, warm smile spreading over his face as he reflected on how, in the months since he abandoned his decades-long artistic journey, he had met a supportive romantic partner, found a stable job in marketing, moved out of his childhood home, mended a poor relationship with his father, and enjoyed a run of beautiful weather that included a meteor shower, one he couldn’t help but see as the cosmos telling him he was right to finally discard his pathetic teenage dream. “When I was putting all my old canvases up in the attic, I found my running shoes and actually went jogging. So it’s not just the world out there. I feel great inside, too. Just sign after sign that this was the right call. Funny all it took was turning my back on my lifelong dream of ever creating something of value.” Mansour added that his only regret was ignoring the countless signs the universe had given him during his childhood, teens, and twenties warning him against embarking on this path in the first place.