Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas

WASHINGTON—In response to her husband Vice President JD Vance beaming with excitement as she opened his Christmas gift to her, second lady Usha Vance reportedly forced a smile Thursday after unwrapping another Bible. “Oh, wow, another King James Bible, you shouldn’t have,” said Vance, placing the Christian religious text on a large stack of Old and New Testament translations her significant other had given her over the years. “I have some Vedas I’ve been meaning to read first, but I can’t wait to get to all of these Bibles soon. Oh, and it comes with a rosary. Yay.” At press time, Vance expressed some relief that it was another Bible and not “another fucking copy of Hillbilly Elegy.”