“We’ve all been there”: What is “Shrekking?” The Gen Z dating trend, explained

They say that Shrek is love, but some people on TikTok are taking this literally.

It’s a widely experienced phenomenon

As one male TikToker claims, “every single one of my pretty friends has been legitimately traumatized by a guy who looks like Shrek.”

“We’ve all been there,” another TikToker, this time a female, adds. “We give the guy we’re not attracted to a chance, thinking that he will for sure know what he has and treat us well. And then we get traumatized by a whole troll.”

In the comments of a further TikTok about the trend, users shared their own experiences of ‘Shrekking.’

“I hate to say it, but this was me just a few days ago,” one revealed. “Long story short, the date ended with me hiding in a janitor’s closet in the bathroom. I’m traumatized. That’s what happens when we give these undeserving boys a chance. Let’s not do it anymore.”

“It’s because we are told to go for a ‘nice’ guy because those would appreciate,” another explained. “Always go for the good-looking one that has always been good-looking, the best quality a man can have is confidence in himself and approval of himself, an insecure man is the most dangerous.”

While a third added: “Literally twice now I’ve tried them out to see if they’re any different to the looker ones and my god they are the worst.”

What do relationship experts think?

As relationships expert Emma Hathorn tells USA Today, “The idea is that you stepped outside your comfort zone, but instead of being rewarded with growth or connection, you wound up regretting the experience.”

“When two people are genuinely driven towards a similar goal and values, they can find an attraction in each other that surprises them and refutes the shallower factors like physical type and societal expectations.”

However, not all dating experts agree with the concept of Shrekking — especially if it discourages people from dating outside their usual preferences.

“For those who’ve been ‘Shrekked,’ the goal isn’t to retreat back to only dating conventionally attractive people; it’s to develop better assessment skills for character, values, and emotional availability regardless of what package they come in,” Amy Chan, author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart explains.

“Physical attraction matters in romantic relationships, but it shouldn’t be the inverse predictor of good treatment that some people assume it to be.”

So, the final verdict? Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.