“We’ve lost the plot”: Influencer sent a list of dresses to guests to buy for to match at her engagement party

Weddings cost a lot. And not just for the couple. Between showers, travel, glam, and dress codes, guests can feel the strain too, especially if the “suggestions” turn into shopping lists.

Influencer sparks backlash with a “dress list” for her engagement party

TikTok creator and fashion entrepreneur Danielle Bernstein (@weworewhat) posted a video about sending guests a curated list of dresses to wear to her engagement party.

The clip pulled in more than 126,300 views as viewers debated whether the outfit “guidance” crossed a line into expectations.

In the video, Bernstein explained that her friends asked her what they should wear, so she decided to send them options. “I sent my guests a list of dresses to shop from,” she said. She framed it as a way to make things easy, not mandatory.

She emphasized that the idea was about cohesion and convenience. “A lot of my friends were like, ‘What should we wear?’ So I figured, let me just make this edit for them,” Bernstein explained.

The detail that caught viewers’ attention, though, was that the list wasn’t just a mood board; it was direct shopping links.

Why the dress list rubbed people the wrong way

For many, the problem wasn’t a suggested vibe, such as black tie, cocktail, or garden party. It was the shopping links.

@weworewhat
Did the shopping for my guests if anyone wants something new! Should I share the curation publicly?! 🥰
♬ original sound – WeWoreWhat.

To critics, that reads like assigning homework with a price tag, especially in a year when costs are high and wedding guest budgets are already stretched. The idea that guests should buy a new dress for an engagement party, not the wedding itself, hit a nerve.

The top questions revolved around money and motives. “Did u profit off the affiliate links too?” one viewer asked. “Not the micromanaging,” another said.

Another pressed, “Do you hate them?”

A third pushed back on the premise, writing, “God forbid someone wears something they already own and doesn’t buy a new dress for a random event,” one person wrote.

“‘Something I feel like is a little bit different,’ yeah, babes, it’s different because it’s genuinely insane,” another said.

“Capitalism final boss,” said another commenter.

“What if we just embraced individuality?” another summarized.

The Daily Dot has reached out to Bernstein via email.