Woman Trying To Find Nonpolitical Way To Say Her Cleaner Was Deported

https://theonion.com/woman-trying-to-find-nonpolitical-way-to-say-her-cleaner-was-deported/

The Onion Staff Nov 11, 2025 · 1 min read
Woman Trying To Find Nonpolitical Way To Say Her Cleaner Was Deported
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CHICAGO—Struggling to explain the recent development during a polite conversation at her neighbor’s house, local woman Sarah Walker reportedly tried Tuesday to find a nonpolitical way to explain that her cleaner had been deported. “Maria will no longer be coming by to tidy up on Wednesdays because of everything going on right now,” Walker said about the woman who was seized by masked men without a warrant, detained in an overcrowded cell, and sent to El Salvador despite being from Mexico. “She’s relocating, which a lot of people are doing these days. It’s too bad that it happened totally out of the blue, but now Maria is with people who share her culture, or close enough. She’s also a little closer to her family, if she can find them. This has all been very inconvenient for me, especially since I have a 30% coupon code from the cleaning service that’s about to expire.” According to reports, Walker then returned home to find that her landscaper had also been deported.